Dec. 4, 2025

Escaping a Religious Cult

Escaping a Religious Cult

Have a question or comment for Pastor Plek or one of his guests. Send it here. 376: A woman's powerful journey from religious extremism to authentic faith reveals the stark difference between controlling religion and true Christianity. Growing up in the Fraternal Society of St. Peter meant living under strict rules, complete isolation, and predetermined life paths. At 12 years old, she was told her only options were marriage or becoming a nun. The breaking point came when her parents blamed h...

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Season 4

Have a question or comment for Pastor Plek or one of his guests. Send it here.

376: A woman's powerful journey from religious extremism to authentic faith reveals the stark difference between controlling religion and true Christianity. Growing up in the Fraternal Society of St. Peter meant living under strict rules, complete isolation, and predetermined life paths. At 12 years old, she was told her only options were marriage or becoming a nun. The breaking point came when her parents blamed her for a sexual assault and prioritized their image over her safety. After carefully planning her escape, she rebuilt her life through physical distance, healthy relationships, and reconnecting with cut-off family members. Her story demonstrates that true faith offers freedom, love, and grace rather than manipulation, fear, and control.

Text your questions to us at 737-231-0605 or visit pastorplek.com. We talk faith, culture, and everything in between.

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00:00 - Meet Kaylin And Set The Stage

01:05 - Inside A Rigid Traditionalist Catholic World

04:20 - Isolation, Homeschooling, And Control

10:55 - “Haunted” House And Demon Narratives

18:00 - The Redheaded Tempter And Escalating Fears

24:20 - Assault At The Gym And Betrayal At Home

31:20 - The Night She Planned Her Escape

38:00 - Costa Rica, Healing, And Building A Dojo

46:20 - Florida Years And Rebuilding Community

53:00 - Choosing Austin And A Fresh Start

58:15 - Family Distance And Survivor’s Guilt

01:05:20 - Reframing God: From Fear To Father

01:13:00 - Prayer, Freedom, And An Invitation

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Welcome back to Pastor Plex Podcast.

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I'm your host, Pastor Plex.

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And then with me in studio is none other than Caolinn.

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I didn't even get your last name.

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Marie.

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Marie.

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Caolinn Marie.

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All right.

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I love it.

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Caolinn Marie.

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I'm so glad you're here.

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I'm happy to be.

00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:32.880
And you may have you may know all of our listening, watching audience out there, that we had a guest, I guess it would be last podcast where we met with Manny Alonzo, and this is his um co-working partner girlfriend.

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Is that okay?

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Yeah, that's a good time.

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Okay, yeah, sorry.

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But you are both those things, so it works out.

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That is correct, yes.

00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:42.799
Okay, so I was like, shoot, I didn't want to like throw you under the bus if you like weren't the girlfriend, that would have been really weird.

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Anyway, okay, so all right.

00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:58.000
So uh Caitlin, I I'm excited to hear, like, I don't know very many people, and this might be just I'm sheltered, uh, who have been in a cult, and I wanted to hear like from you and what happened and all the things.

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So tell the story that you have been waiting your whole life to tell.

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Yeah.

00:01:02.240 --> 00:01:06.959
Well, I think it's funny that you say you're sheltered when I feel like I was the one who was sheltered.

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Never seen a SpongeBob episode.

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Yeah.

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You know, My Little Ponies is demonic, that kind of sheltered.

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But I grew up in a Catholic household.

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Yeah.

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Most people see Catholic as, you know.

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Kind of normal.

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Right.

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They they they associate it, yeah, it's normal.

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Um, I met, I was, I was speaking to our mutual friend Sam, and he was saying, like, oh, I associate it with like, you know, Mexican families and these kind of things, like wholesome good values.

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Yeah.

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I don't associate it with anything bad.

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My experience was very different than that.

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So my type of Catholic that I grew up with is FSSP, Fraternal Society of St.

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Peter.

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And within that church group, it's traditional Latin mass, it's women cover their heads, you wear skirts that are six inches below the knee, nothing more than two fingers below your collarbone, all the rules, you know, covering the heads.

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And it's your life is kind of planned out for you from day one.

00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:09.599
What do you mean by that?

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I'll give you a perfect example.

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One day I was in after church, I was outside, and uh the man who raised me, I'm standing with him, and he is I'm 12 just for at the time.

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Yeah, 12.

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I was a little kid.

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And he's looking at this group of similar aged boys who, as young boys do, being crazy, doing theirs and yeah, doing cartwheels and falls.

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Yeah, exactly.

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And he's looking at him and he he tells me, you know, Caitlin, I would be okay with you marrying any of these men here.

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Men is a strong term.

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Well, they're 12, right?

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It's a big thing to think about at that time too, exactly.

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So your life is kind of planned out.

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I was taught growing up you have two options.

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You can get married, become a wife and a mother, or you can join a convent and become a nun.

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Those are your options.

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That's it.

00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:17.599
Okay, so no, because you know, a dad, you know, as a, you know, you have your kids, you're like, it could have been like he was, you know, trying to every girl wants to get married one day.

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And he and he and it what he wasn't just being sweet and being like, hey, Caitlin, like, you know, the the world's your oyster.

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Which one of these guys, and being kind of fun about it.

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You it was really like it was very serious.

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It was very serious, it was very serious.

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And I it continued into too young still, but older ages of it's to all of us, the all the girls.

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So uh it my family's mainly girls, the kids are mainly girls, and so all the girls, it's you know, it's wife and mother or none, like I was saying.

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So you get married, ASAP, and those babies start coming.

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That's your jaw.

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That is your sole purpose in this world.

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Now, is anybody there sort of like thrilled about that?

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When you're little, you know, when you're maybe like just a little kid looking around.

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What you're saying, like, I mean, it's so counter-cultural.

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It's like in some ways, it's like, man, I didn't get married till I was 34.

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Like, I was behind the curve.

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I'm like, man, I wish I would have done that younger.

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But like, uh, like there's a party mate that goes, man, that'd be kind of smart or at least better.

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But for you, it was like, this is terrifying.

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Well, because you got to think about it in the sense of I didn't grow up like the majority of American kids grow up.

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So I was homeschooled, I lived in a house in the middle of nowhere.

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There's you gotta explain that because it's hard to conceive of a house in the middle of nowhere.

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So uh it's a log cabin.

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You it gets you know, it's very funny, but it's a log cabin.

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Like when I again, when I think of log cabins, I think of like Lincoln logs.

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Do you know what those are?

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All right, so look, I don't I don't I sound sad to say that.

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Do you know what that is?

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Uh so it looks like a log cabin.

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Can you tell me like what state or what it's in Texas, yeah.

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It's in Texas.

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Oh, okay.

00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:05.439
So so you didn't have like air conditioning?

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We did have air conditioning.

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It's Texas.

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You have to have air conditioning.

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I was like, you have to have air conditioning.

00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:11.839
Oh, I think log cabin, I think pretty rustic.

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It was, but it modern, it was modern.

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Like we had running water.

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We did have a well, but running water from the well, electric, or I assumed it was electric.

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And AC You didn't have to take a bucket to the well or anything.

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No.

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Okay.

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No, thankfully not.

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No, it was still modern.

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Uh I mean at this stage in my life, I have terrible memories of that place.

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But if I were to go there on vacation, I would think, wow, this is a beautiful house in the middle of the woods in Texas.

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But it was the middle of nowhere.

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I was homeschooled and I was not socialized.

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I know a lot of kids now.

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I've meet a lot of kids that are homeschooled.

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Yeah.

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And they do a pretty good job of, well, at least they're trying to get their kids socialized.

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Right.

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And if they don't, the kids end up a little odd.

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That's that's definitely true.

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Because when you're so young, having those, you know, human interactions is so important.

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But I see homeschool kids now in their normal, well-functioning associated.

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I don't know if you know much about the public school system, which my kids are in.

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Uh, and it's it's a little challenging.

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Yeah.

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It's the complete opposite of everything you're saying, and I grew up in as well.

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But it wasn't, it's like you've got like trans stuff, gay stuff, like it's just in your face all the time.

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Like, we're celebrating gay pride, whatever.

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And so, like, so what you're saying, it's it's good, so good to hear your perspective because like there's some people who are like, we need to get rid of the schools, and they're like, let's go to homeschool and put everybody on a farm, like all the stuff you're that you lived out.

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Like now, I don't know if they'll actually do it, but they kind of like say it wistfully of like, I wish I could be at a different place where we didn't have to deal with the whatever, whatever.

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So, but from your perspective, it was like insane insanity.

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It's it's very, very different because the wokism and all of that agenda that's getting shoved down people's throats is a big problem now.

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And homeschooling is a good option because of all of that in the world right now.

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I was homeschooled for very different reasons.

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I if you asked, yeah, oh, you're homeschooled because of like you don't want it in the woke coat, woke, woke culture.

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Right.

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But the real reason is because the people in charge get to control the entire narrative.

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We control what you learn, we control what you don't learn, and most importantly, we control your time 24-7.

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I had no activities outside of my household for the majority of my life.

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If I did have an activity, like maybe I don't know, there was a period where I did horseback riding for a little while.

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It was two or three weeks, and then it's done because it's too much worldly interaction.

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Like, did you have mom and dad at the log cabin with you?

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Yes.

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I had both parents.

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Okay.

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And so um so I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this.

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So you're raised up.

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Do you do you feel like not love?

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Like, give me like the how did you I guess how do you know if you're all if that's all you know, how do you know it's weird?

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How do you know it's wrong?

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Does that make sense?

00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:09.839
It definitely does.

00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:12.079
I didn't know for a while.

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It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong because I didn't get it that it was wrong because I didn't know anything else, and I didn't have enough friends in the outside world to tell me this is weird.

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For example, those people would say, You're lucky that you have a doctor's appointment in two days.

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Otherwise, I would beat the crap out of you.

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Okay, so now that's good.

00:08:38.559 --> 00:08:39.840
Okay, so that's helpful.

00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:43.039
So, like you're so it's very harsh discipline.

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Definitely.

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Um, was there love in the home?

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In my memory, it's very hard to remember times of pure love.

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Do I have memories where I was like, oh, that was nice of so-and-so to do Christmas Thanksgiving?

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Right, right.

00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:05.759
But those moments were fleeting and very superficial.

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So there wasn't like you're cuddling with your dad, and then like you're, you know, everyone's sitting on the couch watching TV and just like, you know, you're playing with your sister's hair or something.

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I don't know.

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I'm just like, you know what I'm saying?

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Like there's moments where I I think back, like very I don't know, with my with my sons, I'm I'm constantly having them all over me as we're we're watching a thing or we're watching football or we're doing life.

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And but there is times of discipline.

00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:32.559
So for you, it was just like it felt like very harsh.

00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:38.000
Is that the kind of the it was a very harsh energy in general within the house?

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And I mean, there were moments, but for me, in at least in my memory, it was in the very early years of my life where they were normal people.

00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:53.120
And I maybe it's you get progressively like, I don't know, harsher over time.

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I believe so.

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And it may just have just been my awareness coming around that they had always been this way, but my awareness just started picking up of why is my brother getting hit with there's uh a stick we use in martial arts, it's a martial art, Filipino martial art called Kali.

00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.879
It's um it's made of bamboo, it's yeah, it's a heavy stick.

00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:18.639
Similar to that, but thicker and a little bit heavier.

00:10:18.639 --> 00:10:20.320
But why is he getting hit with that?

00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:23.360
Why is he getting disciplined in these different ways?

00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:29.440
It's just so wait, martial arts was like a part of your upbringing of the It was it was a big thing.

00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:32.720
Everyone in my like my whole background was martial arts.

00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:34.799
I have uncles who are Olympic wrestlers.

00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.440
A lot of so wait, so I know this.

00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:39.360
I'm I'm just trying to get my head around this.

00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:39.679
Yeah.

00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:45.600
So were your parents raised in a cult, or did they just decide to join the this is does that make sense?

00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:46.720
Like, how do they get there?

00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:47.120
Yeah.

00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:53.759
So I I think Manny was using the words cult in maybe the way that people don't traditionally use them.

00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:54.240
Okay.

00:10:54.399 --> 00:11:02.399
So in in his mind, or the way he was explaining it, is it's just like one person who has deemed himself the the chosen one, the guru or whatever.

00:11:02.399 --> 00:11:05.759
Yeah, the chosen one, the guru, and he's in charge of everything.

00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:06.000
Right.

00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:06.879
He runs everything.

00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:07.200
Yeah.

00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:08.000
Right.

00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:11.759
So that would be the person in charge of my family.

00:11:11.759 --> 00:11:12.080
Right.

00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:12.480
Right.

00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:15.759
So that's what his mind is in a cult.

00:11:15.759 --> 00:11:18.080
It wasn't like, you know, the the It wasn't like a compound.

00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.320
No, not it was like a fraternal, what's it called again?

00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:23.759
The fraternal society of St.

00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:24.080
Peter.

00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:24.799
Yeah.

00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:25.360
Okay.

00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:31.679
And so you guys, I mean, I know like to be Catholic, you kind of have to have some connection to the Pope.

00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.399
Like, what was your how does that work?

00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:36.480
Because like, can you just start up your own little thing?

00:11:36.799 --> 00:11:39.200
No, so the po the this was the philosophy.

00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:43.360
Well, let me explain the the Catholic mindset and then what the philosophy that I taught was.

00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:47.519
So, yes, the Pope is vicar of Christ, Jesus Christ, exactly.

00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:50.159
So he's Christ's hands on the earth.

00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:51.279
Representative on the earth.

00:11:51.519 --> 00:11:52.399
Right, exactly.

00:11:52.399 --> 00:12:00.000
Um, when I want to say it was Benedict the 16th, when he was, I want to say in office, but when he was Pope, it was cool.

00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:01.039
Yeah, he was great.

00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:02.559
Yeah, everyone was cool with him.

00:12:02.559 --> 00:12:09.279
When Francis became Pope, uh, it was very common for this is gonna sound very terrible.

00:12:09.279 --> 00:12:11.120
Everybody prayed for him to die.

00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:31.600
That is in in your fraternal in this fraternal society and within my own home, we get up every morning, our morning prayers, we sing all of our things, and please end the life of Pope Francis and his life because he was pro things that they didn't support.

00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:32.080
Wow.

00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:33.519
Basically, yeah, yeah.

00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:35.840
So that was the situation with the Pope.

00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:39.759
Um and then he died when last year?

00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:40.080
Yeah.

00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:40.960
Or early this year.

00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:41.679
Something like that.

00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:44.320
Yeah, that was their prayers are answered.

00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.919
I mean, and and it's funny.

00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:47.200
I I try really hard not to.

00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:48.320
Dark dark humor.

00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:48.559
Yeah.

00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:48.960
Yeah.

00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:56.639
I really I try not to stalk or like look up any of these things connected to the fraternal society of St.

00:12:56.639 --> 00:12:59.759
Peter or anything like that, just because it's not healthy.

00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:00.960
Yeah, it's not healthy.

00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:07.200
Once in a while I do, and I see, you know, these people on these forums talking about it's okay to pray for the death of the Pope.

00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:16.159
This saint and that saint and this philosopher said it's okay because he's not supporting, he's not representing Catholicism in the way it's meant to be represented.

00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:18.240
Okay, that's just odd.

00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:18.720
Okay.

00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:25.679
So how did your uh, I guess, parental units uh discover this fraternal society of St.

00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:26.399
Peter?

00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:28.320
They uh hmm.

00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:30.000
That's a really good question.

00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:36.559
Um I started off the first church I ever went to was called an Angelican Youth Church.

00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:40.320
So they were Anglicans that became Catholic.

00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:46.720
And at some point they decided that this wasn't serious or traditional enough.

00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:52.000
So we switched churches to this it'sy bitsy room.

00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:58.399
It was definitely let's say you see that like the first row of chairs, like small, yeah, really small.

00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:03.200
That one actually did not have AC in it, and it was on a farm, and there were goats outside.

00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:07.440
And like cows, it's fun after church if you get to go outside and play with the goats.

00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:08.639
Did you get to ride the goats?

00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:09.279
I did not.

00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:10.159
They were two little goats.

00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:10.480
Oh, okay.

00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:12.240
They were little miniature goats.

00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:16.799
Um, the parish priest, very odd person.

00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:22.399
I mean, I don't think he's a good person, but he was always killing the animals constantly and talking about it.

00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:23.840
It was a very odd situation.

00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:25.279
He would just kill animals all the time.

00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:30.960
Um, but that's where we switched over to, and it was, like I said, traditional Latin mass.

00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:31.919
So everything's in Latin.

00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:33.279
Do you know Latin now?

00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:35.519
I used to be very good at it.

00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:42.399
I don't remember a lot of it now, but I can say prayers and read math type things in Latin.

00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:43.519
So yeah.

00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:44.080
Okay.

00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:46.960
So tell me then, like, all right, yeah, keep going.

00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:50.159
So, like you're so you're you're growing up in this.

00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:52.720
At some point, you're like, I'm out.

00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:53.279
Right.

00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:55.919
So there were two major breaking points for me.

00:14:55.919 --> 00:15:01.360
The first one was earlier in my life, young teenage years.

00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:09.360
And the start of this story is confusing because the whole situation was confusing.

00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:17.919
But there was a two-year period, roughly, period of my life where this house that I'm telling you about, the cabin in the woods, was haunted.

00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:19.360
Okay.

00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:20.320
This is good.

00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:20.639
All right.

00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:21.440
Haunted.

00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:22.000
Haunted.

00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:26.159
When you say haunted, I think ghosts and like creepy things.

00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:26.480
Yeah.

00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:27.039
All right.

00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:30.720
So that the story that I was fed.

00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:33.360
Like how old were you when this is the haunted house?

00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:37.840
Uh like I said, it was over a period of years.

00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:38.639
I was a young teenager.

00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:39.519
Okay, young teenager.

00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:39.679
Okay.

00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:40.399
Young teenager.

00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:41.919
So this isn't like you're a little kid.

00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:43.120
This is like 13 or something.

00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:45.919
There's a rat.

00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:46.639
Okay, got it.

00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:48.080
Old enough to know that there's a rat.

00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:55.759
Allegedly, it started when my parental unit was doing some kind of consecration to Mary.

00:15:55.759 --> 00:16:06.000
And allegedly, during this time, demons started coming into her bedroom at night and like trying to scare her.

00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.240
That was the story.

00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:13.679
And it just progressively got a lot worse.

00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:20.720
Where it was when we say demons, like, could you hear the demons, see the demons, feel the demons?

00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:22.480
Give me how like the demons me?

00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:22.879
Yeah.

00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:23.120
No.

00:16:23.279 --> 00:16:23.440
Okay.

00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:24.000
But her.

00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:24.399
Her.

00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:24.720
Yeah.

00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:25.600
The parental unit.

00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:25.919
Yes.

00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:26.399
Got it.

00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:29.200
She was seeing it, hearing it.

00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:30.320
They were coming for her.

00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:30.879
Got it.

00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:31.519
Oh, got it.

00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:31.840
Yeah.

00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:34.720
They were coming for her because she was trying to do this consecration to Mary.

00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:35.279
Got it.

00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:41.840
And the oldest started hearing and seeing things as well.

00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:44.720
More than anybody else.

00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:51.679
And the only three there were only three people in the family that ever claimed to hear or see things or have experiences.

00:16:51.679 --> 00:16:56.399
And that was the two parentals and then the oldest in the family.

00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:56.879
Okay.

00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:58.879
They're the ones that heard and saw everything.

00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.799
Old is a boy or oldest is a girl.

00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:01.440
She's a female.

00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:01.679
Yeah.

00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:04.160
So it's girls and then a boy and a girl and a boy.

00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:04.319
Yeah.

00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:04.960
And that's it.

00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:06.720
So yes.

00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:13.680
And it like I said, it just started as people saying things that go bump in the m night.

00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:28.640
And it just progressively kept getting worse over a series of months to the point where we shared a room and my the oldest would wake up screaming in the middle of the night that something is trying to grab her.

00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:29.759
There's something in the corner.

00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:36.400
And it's pretty terrifying to be woken up by screams in the middle of the night, and someone is saying, There's a demon right there.

00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:39.279
And he, she is doing XYZ.

00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:45.920
And yeah, it's so you couldn't see it, but you heard her screaming about it.

00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:46.400
No.

00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:50.799
And so we it was the weirdest time of my life.

00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:57.279
We were given uh spray bottles filled with holy water, and that's like your weapon.

00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:57.759
Okay.

00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:01.440
So when they come, you just like did it work?

00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:02.400
Sometimes.

00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:03.440
Sometimes it didn't.

00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:07.519
Sometimes they would laugh and sometimes they would go away.

00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:13.599
Uh there was one day where I was for the most part babysitting at home.

00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:14.160
Yeah, okay.

00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:15.440
And this is so crazy.

00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:15.680
Go ahead.

00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:18.559
And the oldest was upstairs.

00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:20.000
I was just kind of always the responsible one.

00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:20.160
Yeah.

00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:21.119
Took care of the kids.

00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:24.400
She was upstairs and she starts screaming, screaming, screaming.

00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:26.559
And I'm assuming I know what's going on.

00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:35.759
So I grab our spray bottle and we run upstairs and she's screaming, pointing at the closet, saying that he's standing right there.

00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:38.960
So I sprayed him with water and it wasn't working.

00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:42.240
So her solution was okay, we're all gonna leave.

00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:44.559
And it was probably it was cold out.

00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:47.440
It was like 40, 50 degrees and raining.

00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.519
So we just left.

00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:50.400
We just went out.

00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.880
Everybody put it in the car and outside.

00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:54.160
No, none of us could drive.

00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:55.119
None of us could drive.

00:18:55.119 --> 00:18:56.559
We're all below driving age.

00:18:56.559 --> 00:19:01.680
So we all just we left and we were just out on the road in the middle of the country for Hold on.

00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:03.279
Where were the parental units?

00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.480
I don't know where they were.

00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:05.599
They were not there.

00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:17.920
They were not there because I remember after an hour or so of just like hanging out on the road, um, they came by in the car and we're just like, What are you guys doing?

00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:19.759
Because we didn't have phones, phones were not allowed.

00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:26.480
We had a landline at the house, but no phones, no driver's licenses, no social media, limited internet.

00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:32.559
So we didn't really have a way to contact them and tell them like there's demons in the house scaring everybody.

00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:32.960
Okay.

00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:38.000
Um, and it would just be series like that, constantly.

00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:40.640
Everything was a demon.

00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:42.799
Everything that ever happened was a demon.

00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:44.720
Lights flicker, it's a demon.

00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:49.759
Kids are arguing, you have spirits clinging to your shoulder, and we have to pray them away.

00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:57.279
Everything that ever happens that was bad or they didn't like it, it's a demon trying to control you.

00:19:57.279 --> 00:20:01.200
And they began this story.

00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:06.319
Uh are you familiar with the alleged third person who is in the Garden of Eden?

00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:07.519
Have you ever heard of that?

00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:09.279
Please enlighten me.

00:20:09.440 --> 00:20:15.279
So allegedly, I don't know where they saw this because it's not in the Bible, it's not in Genesis, but I'm fat.

00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:16.160
I can't wait to hear.

00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:33.279
There was a third person in the Garden of Eden, and she was a redheaded woman who her job, she was a demon who was put in the Garden of Eden to tempt Adam when Eve wasn't around before the apple.

00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:34.960
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait.

00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:46.079
So there's a story somewhere out there, yeah that the that the Garden of Eden had a redheaded temptress for Adam so he could cheat on Eve.

00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:46.720
Yes.

00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.160
Does he do it?

00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:50.400
In the story, I don't think he does.

00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:53.680
I don't remember a hundred percent what the actual teacher is.

00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:56.079
Is this a fraternal society of St.

00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:58.480
Peter thing, or is this like a other thing?

00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:03.920
It must be because I didn't hear of this woman until we started going to that church.

00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:10.160
I mean, it could have just been uh my family thing, it could have just been what they started with, to be honest.

00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:16.559
Um, but her job was to make kids hate their parents and to turn kids gay.

00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:17.759
That was her job.

00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:18.480
Okay, yeah.

00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:18.880
Hey.

00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:19.599
Yeah.

00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:26.880
So that was the person or the the number one demon who was trying to infiltrate the family.

00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:30.880
And so we would just get stories all the time of creepy things.

00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:55.839
Um we would be out working, doing whatever, and the male parental unit would get a phone call and be agitated because of whatever was happening during the call, and he would hang up and then he told me, Your sister is at home freaking out because she saw a naked smoking child dancing up the stairs.

00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:58.000
So it's stuff like that.

00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:07.119
You know, it so it started with door slamming, creaking, flickering lights, and then it just got escalated to just got insane.

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:07.759
Yeah.

00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:10.880
Is there any possibility that it was actually demonic?

00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:15.039
Or is there like this was just a figment of like where do you go with this?

00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:18.880
Because like I mean, I've heard of demonic stuff in Africa, I've seen some demonic stuff.

00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:28.640
So I I don't discount the demonic, but like at some point you go, Am I that special that demons are attacking our particular family?

00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:30.559
Uh that was what they said.

00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:34.000
We are so holy that the demons are coming for us.

00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:42.480
It's because and it's not it's not all of you, it's not the kids because you guys are have demons clinging to you.

00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:43.920
It's your father.

00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:54.880
The male of the family is so holy because he is getting attacked by these demons, and he they're attacking the family because he is holy.

00:22:54.880 --> 00:23:00.720
And my skepticism comes from the fact that he was the one who controlled it.

00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.880
He controlled the stories, he controlled when it stopped.

00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:10.000
When he would pray, demons would be fine, but they would be quiet.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.240
When anyone else would pray, it wouldn't work.

00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:19.440
He was the one who was the demon slayer.

00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:24.000
He uh the things that he did would work, the things that other people would do didn't work.

00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:50.079
Even our parish priest who came to the house numerous times doing um but he did mass inside the house, he would do blessings, he did minor exorcisms, he did minor exorcisms on the people who were seeing things, and none of it worked, but when your dad did it, when he did it, it would work.

00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:52.160
When he prayed, it would be okay.

00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:53.599
All right, so I got something.

00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:54.000
Okay.

00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:55.680
Lilith, does that make any sense?

00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.400
Is that who it is?

00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:57.119
Yeah, okay.

00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:11.359
Lilith is in Jewish folklore that she was the first wife of Adam who didn't submit to him and she left, and then she came back as a demon and then tempted Eve to spite Adam.

00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:12.559
Gotcha.

00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:14.559
Okay, so that's the full story.

00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:20.559
I'll uh the the main part I remember is the red-headed demon who turns people lesbian and makes kids hate their parents.

00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:21.279
Oh, wow.

00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:22.640
That was the long and short of it.

00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:24.799
Did anybody turn lesbian in your uh family?

00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:26.799
Okay.

00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:36.880
The the lesbian part happened when the sister right above me, she went no contact and came out as lesbian.

00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:39.599
And that's when Lilith starts turning kids lesbian.

00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:40.079
Oh.

00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:44.400
So before that, she makes kids hate their parents, she causes dissent in the home, she does all this.

00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:47.200
Oh, she wasn't a gay, she didn't turn anyone gay until after someone.

00:24:48.319 --> 00:24:48.880
You know, yeah.

00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:55.279
Once someone became lesbian, that's when Lilith makes people lesbian.

00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:56.480
That's when that happened.

00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:58.240
Okay, all right, all right.

00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:58.640
Wow.

00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:02.480
So you live in this wacky place with uh wacky parental units.

00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:02.960
Yeah.

00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:07.359
And how and you somehow are at least sort of sane.

00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:12.000
Um how do you like you're doing a lot of ninja stuff though?

00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:12.319
Right.

00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:13.359
You're you're training.

00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:13.759
Yeah.

00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:14.960
And you like that.

00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:15.519
Of course.

00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:16.240
Yes, love it.

00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:19.359
Um and then how do you escape?

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:23.759
That's a really it's a it's it's a good story.

00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:27.519
Um and it's for me, okay.

00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:31.839
So that was my number one factor that broke was like, okay, there's a problem in this house.

00:25:31.839 --> 00:25:34.960
The second part of it is really important to what how I left.

00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:35.440
Yeah.

00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:39.200
Um I was working at a jiu-jitsu school.

00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:39.599
Yep.

00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:40.720
And like a jujitsu.

00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:43.039
So when you get to the jujitsu school, is that like somehow in town?

00:25:43.039 --> 00:25:44.880
How did you get to said jujitsu school?

00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:45.680
We would drive.

00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:45.920
Okay.

00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:47.680
It was so at some point you got a car?

00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:49.440
It was no, that's with all of us.

00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:50.480
So it's an hour and a half away.

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.559
Like I said, martial arts was a really big thing in there.

00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:55.839
So the whole family goes to do martial arts at this thing an hour and a half away.

00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:56.240
Right.

00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:56.640
Right.

00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:58.559
With traffic, probably an hour without.

00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:01.039
But it we trek there, you know?

00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:03.039
And they worked in Houston.

00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:05.599
So it was, you know, it worked out.

00:26:05.599 --> 00:26:12.160
But when I'm at this place where I was working at this point, I've been training an hour, I was working there.

00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:25.920
Um, one of my co-workers, he uh one day I was drinking water, bending over, and it this was following a series of very odd questions to be asking me for reference.

00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:29.039
I was still a young teenager, he was 30.

00:26:29.039 --> 00:26:31.039
And he asked me lots of weird questions.

00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.319
Why don't I have a phone?

00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.279
Can I buy you a phone secretly?

00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:36.880
Do you want kids?

00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:40.480
Let me be your friend, I'll protect you, I'll take care of you.

00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:41.839
Those kind of comments.

00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:51.119
And so following these, uh, one day I bent over at the water fountain to drink water, and he grabs my butt.

00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:53.119
I push him off.

00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:55.039
And did you fight him?

00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:57.119
No, it was during a class.

00:26:57.119 --> 00:27:08.000
Oh but we were in kind of a secluded group, unfortunately, because of uh there were like muay thai bags hanging up and so it blocks cameras and stuff.

00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:14.480
So I shove him off and I just stared at him because I was just kind of whacked out of what just happened.

00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:16.720
I'm just staring at him and he goes, What?

00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:23.440
And I don't break eye contact until he goes, sorry, and he walks off.

00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:29.200
So later on during that day, he asked me to train with him.

00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.039
Martial arts in general is very physical.

00:27:31.039 --> 00:27:34.079
Jiu-Jitsu is the most full contact martial art.

00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:34.319
Right.

00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:36.640
There is no way I'm letting you touch me here.

00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:37.119
Right.

00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:39.440
You're we grappling and then like partner, yeah.

00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:40.319
Precisely.

00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:41.519
So I told him no.

00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:42.640
I didn't say anything else.

00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:43.519
I didn't even say no.

00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:46.480
I just said he gets very angry.

00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:49.599
And this guy is of no relation, right?

00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:50.400
Say that again.

00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:51.759
This guy's of no relation to you.

00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:54.559
Like he just familiar, like uh family blood?

00:27:54.799 --> 00:27:59.759
Yeah, no, okay, and but he but did you know him growing up or how he was a coworker, got it.

00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:00.160
That's it.

00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:06.240
He was a coworker, um, and he was very, very angry by this.

00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:09.759
So he went to my parental units.

00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:12.079
They were everybody was pretty involved in this gym.

00:28:12.079 --> 00:28:13.119
So everybody knows each other.

00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:15.599
So he goes to them and he's talking smack about me.

00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:19.279
Hey, she did this disrespectful, how dare she?

00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:20.160
Blah, blah, blah.

00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:22.079
He got to them before I did, right?

00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:25.359
Before I was able to tell them about the butt grabbing.

00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:32.319
And so they come to me and they ask me, Hey, what happens?

00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:33.599
What's going on here?

00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:37.359
And I tell them, hey, this is what happened.

00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:43.200
And they got very angry at me because victim blaming.

00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:43.599
Right.

00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:46.319
Because he was black or is black.

00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:47.599
He's a black man.

00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:49.440
And so they're very angry.

00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:51.039
How are we supposed to handle this?

00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:52.000
He's a black man.

00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:56.240
People are gonna think we're racist, he's gonna come shoot us because he's black.

00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:57.119
That's racist.

00:28:57.519 --> 00:28:57.920
Thank you.

00:28:57.920 --> 00:28:59.680
Yes, it's extremely racist.

00:28:59.680 --> 00:29:01.599
So they they're very angry.

00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:02.880
How are we supposed to handle this?

00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:06.880
Are you even sure, like questioning me, questioning, questioning me until I'm questioning myself?

00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:12.960
Like, I maybe, yes, I I was, you know, scared, confused, all the things that you can imagine.

00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:18.079
And I'm sure there are so many people and you know, young women in particular that can relate to that.

00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:32.160
And so it came to a point after this long argument and blaming, and you better be 100% sure because if you're not, then we're all gonna get, you know, all of these whatever whatever the words are you were using, like, man.

00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:37.039
It's so weird to worry so much about yourself when your daughter just got right.

00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:38.880
It's the weirdest thing ever.

00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:40.559
And so who cares?

00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:40.960
Just leave.

00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:41.279
Right.

00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:44.240
Like I we care more about you than some whatever.

00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:44.559
Right.

00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:45.119
Anyway.

00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:49.039
So my parents' demeanor changes very quickly.

00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:50.400
And he's like, you know what?

00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:52.960
I'm your father.

00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:57.519
I don't want you to feel like I don't take care of you, like I don't protect you.

00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:59.839
So I will talk to him and make sure that this doesn't happen.

00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:00.799
Again.

00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:04.720
But I think that you should apologize to him because you made him very upset.

00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:07.279
And she's standing next to him.

00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:08.480
She's like, Yes, that's a good idea.

00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.319
You're gonna apologize to him.

00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:15.119
I was very taken aback and I said, I'm not apologizing to him.

00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:19.599
But if you're gonna talk to him, I want to be there because I want to make sure that we understand what happened here.

00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:21.680
And they both say, No, no, no, you can't be there.

00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:22.480
That's inappropriate.

00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:23.039
Oh, cool.

00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:25.599
Is it more inappropriate than grabbing a minor's butt?

00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:27.119
Tell me that.

00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:30.880
No, you can't be there, but you need to apologize to him.

00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:32.480
End of story.

00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:34.640
I never apologized to him.

00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:40.160
And uh they never talked to him, nothing ever changed.

00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:50.640
And we continued being coworkers, and I kept him this far away for the rest of his time there until eventually he got fired for something else.

00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:53.519
And I was like, okay, great, all's good now.

00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:54.319
Everything's fine.

00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:55.440
We're great.

00:30:55.440 --> 00:31:12.240
Um there had been during that period of time when he had been working there, right before he got fired, he got into an argument with my father and uh he yelled at him and said some apparently something mean.

00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:14.000
But he gets fired.

00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:23.119
And I want to see it, it was it was either a few days after a few days after, or a week or after or so.

00:31:23.119 --> 00:31:35.759
Um, I did have a phone at this time, and I got a text message from my father, who's in the same house as me, and it's a screenshot of of his text messages to this other man, and it's an apology.

00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:39.200
Hey, blank, I'm so sorry that I got angry at you.

00:31:39.200 --> 00:31:40.400
I wish you the best.

00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:45.680
And you just sent it to me at 10 o'clock at night for no alleged reason.

00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:54.000
So it it was your uh parental unit sending that to he texted him and said he was sorry to him and screenshot it and sent it to me.

00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:57.920
Got it and I'm thinking, okay, fine.

00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:58.720
Thank you.

00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:01.759
That's a big middle finger to my face.

00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:05.200
That's just making it very clear where you stand, whose side you're on.

00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:06.640
You just want to make sure I understand that.

00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:07.759
Cool, I got it.

00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:22.480
At least it's over until six months later he shows up again and he gets welcomed into the house, open arms, hugging everything, loving on him in my space.

00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:29.839
And that was the day that I was like, okay, we're done.

00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:39.039
There's no I at that point I had already been considering just moving away, but not cutting them off.

00:32:39.039 --> 00:32:43.279
I was, I had my whole plan in my head of like, okay, I'm gonna move away.

00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.359
I'm not gonna not tell them.

00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:51.359
I'm gonna have a conversation with them in a public place and I'm gonna say, hey, for these reasons, I can't live here with you anymore.

00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:54.319
But that night, um old were you about that?

00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:56.160
Like we're talking about 15, 16?

00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:57.359
No, at that time I was older.

00:32:57.359 --> 00:32:59.119
I was closer to an adult.

00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:01.359
Yeah, closer to an adult age at that time.

00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:05.839
Um and I thankfully I actually was working that night.

00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:12.960
So I left and I didn't come home until really late, which I was is not normal for me.

00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.119
I never went out, I never partied, I never did anything.

00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:17.680
I just stayed out really late because I was super upset.

00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:24.799
Um, and when I got home, they're sitting there waiting up for me, and they're like, Hey, why didn't you tell us you were you were leaving, like you're going to work?

00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:28.960
And I said, Oh, well, you were busy with that gentleman.

00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:30.160
Oh, but no, we weren't.

00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:31.759
You should have come in and said hi.

00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:35.279
And I was like, No, I was busy.

00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:35.920
Are you okay?

00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:37.279
You seem like something's wrong.

00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:38.640
And I said, you know what?

00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:39.440
I'm good.

00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:40.799
I'm gonna go to bed.

00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:50.160
And that night I decided I said to myself, you know what, you do not deserve to know when I am leaving.

00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:55.279
You don't deserve to know anything about my life from this point forward.

00:33:55.279 --> 00:34:10.960
And within a period of time after that, with the help of uh some female friends from jujitsu, there were two women who helped me a lot.

00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:14.559
Um, one of them kept my stuff for me.

00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:17.840
I would just bring her things in grocery bags little by little.

00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:23.199
I I left with one suitcase and a little backpack.

00:34:23.199 --> 00:34:27.599
And I just brought things to her slowly over the course over a really long course of time, just little by little.

00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:29.280
So nobody notices anything's missing.

00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:33.119
Just literally like my favorite jeans, my favorite shirt, things that I can't, you know.

00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:37.679
So like this time you're like 18, 19, or yeah, an adult at this time, a legal adult at this time.

00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:39.519
A legal adult at this time.

00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:51.039
Um and so one day it was just a normal day to them, but for me, it was a day that I had been planning for a really long time.

00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:54.880
And I got up and I was supposed to go to work.

00:34:54.880 --> 00:35:01.119
I had quit, I had my boss already knew that I was quitting um my job at that time.

00:35:01.119 --> 00:35:08.639
So I was supposed to go to work and I got dressed like normal.

00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:14.639
I had a bag that was a backpack, but it was like a stylish backpack.

00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:21.360
So I just put some last minute things in there, like a toothbrush, a little bit of money, and uh, I think my makeup.

00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:28.159
I remember my makeup because I was so it was in a metal box and I was worried it was gonna make a lot of noise when I was walking down the stairs.

00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:43.119
And I put on like a black skirt, a black shirt, and then I put on a big heavy black shawl because it was I worked at a like a fancy steakhouse, so I kind of had to wear like professional stuff.

00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:43.360
Yeah.

00:35:43.519 --> 00:35:47.840
And so I was like totally covered head to toe in black, really loose baggy clothing.

00:35:47.840 --> 00:36:00.320
And as I was walking out, the last thing that the last conversation eye to eye or words exchange in general with my dad, I had was he looked at me and he's like, Oh, you look pretty, Caitlin.

00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:01.760
And I said, Thanks.

00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:04.000
And I kept walking down the stairs.

00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:09.679
And my siblings are sitting at the table and just kind of scattered around.

00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:14.960
And my mom was sitting there, and she ironically asked me, Oh, are you leaving?

00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:18.639
And I said, Yeah, I'm leaving to work.

00:36:18.639 --> 00:36:42.800
Um my siblings are sitting there.

00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:47.920
I never tell this part without crying as life.

00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:55.920
It's been years, but I look at each of them and I just did this.

00:36:55.920 --> 00:36:57.360
I just said I love you.

00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:04.000
Um that was it.

00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:08.079
One of them didn't notice he wasn't paying attention, so I called his name.

00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:14.880
I was like, I called his name three times, so he would see it because it's like that's been it to this day.

00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:17.599
I haven't seen him since then, but it's fine.

00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:18.559
It's fine.

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:22.239
Anyway, we're done.

00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:25.199
So I get into my car.

00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:27.920
Or well, I had a truck.

00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:38.480
It was under their name, so I had a whole plan to get uh it back to them because I wanted to make sure I didn't have anything in their name with me.

00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:42.480
So they have you know, nothing they can't say like I stole their car or whatever.

00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:44.079
Please aren't trying to track you.

00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:44.719
Yeah.

00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:46.320
Um, exactly.

00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:50.159
So I get in and I leave.

00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:59.840
Um the first place I went was um I left a a letter somewhere where I knew they would find it.

00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:08.960
Just this is why I think I wrote like 20 pages or something of this is why I'm done with you.

00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:10.480
This is why it's never gonna happen again.

00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:12.480
Why I'm never gonna talk to you again.

00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:16.000
All these things, like basically these stories that I've been telling you.

00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:18.639
Yeah, with a few other occasions in there.

00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:25.519
Um I was playing this song that now it's always it's it's a happy song.

00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:31.119
Now it's not really a happy song, but it was um I forget the bands, but it's Master of Puppets.

00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:32.239
Um do you know that song?

00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:33.199
I do, yeah.

00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:36.880
Um Master of Puppets and Pulling Your Strings, yes, okay.

00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:38.480
Stomping on your dreams.

00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:39.599
That song.

00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:42.559
I forget who it's by, but Metallica, right?

00:38:42.559 --> 00:38:43.360
Yes, Metallica.

00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:43.599
Thank you.

00:38:43.599 --> 00:38:45.599
I was gonna say ACDC, but Metallica.

00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:47.920
Um, so I'm playing that song.

00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:53.039
I leave, and then I went in the uh at this point we lived in the city.

00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:56.159
We didn't live in that uh little log cabin anymore.

00:38:56.159 --> 00:39:04.559
We lived in a city, and I took my truck to a Whole Foods and I parked it, and in the letter had left them.

00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:11.119
Um I told him, like, hey, your truck's at Whole Foods, the keys are in this place, so I'm not stealing anything from you.

00:39:11.119 --> 00:39:30.239
Um so I parked the truck and I took an Uber to the friend's house who had my things and I she wasn't there so as we we planned very well to make sure that things aren't gonna come back to her to make sure that she's and her family are safe.

00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:30.559
Yeah.

00:39:30.719 --> 00:39:31.920
Um, so she wasn't there.

00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:33.760
She just gave me the code to the garage.

00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:38.800
I opened the garage, I took my bags out, and I left.

00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:48.960
I took an Uber to a different friend's house who I stayed with for a long time working until I moved to California.

00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:51.039
Long story short.

00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:59.679
So when you get to California, you've had no like um no, I don't know, real life experience.

00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:02.320
I mean, you've had real life, you've been working, but that's a fair statement.

00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:03.280
No real life experience.

00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:05.440
I mean, I don't know if you ever rented an apartment.

00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:06.880
I don't know if you've ever, you know.

00:40:07.199 --> 00:40:07.920
Not at that period.

00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:13.760
I mean, but I guess you were just, you know, functional enough as a human being that you what I mean, what did you do?

00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:16.559
I was living on a wing in a prayer at that point.

00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:34.880
Uh again, the the person I was working for during that period where I was out, she helped me to have a job when I moved to San Diego, which I never ended up taking because um the friend that I was living with when she heard that I was moving out of state, she was worried about me.

00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:41.039
She's telling me, you know, you don't have any family, you don't have any friends there, you don't know anybody.

00:40:41.039 --> 00:40:44.079
Um, so she did two things to help me.

00:40:44.079 --> 00:40:49.039
The first thing that she did was she found Manny, who was living in California at the time.

00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:52.400
And she texted him and just said, Hey, I'm worried about Caolinn.

00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:53.679
Hold on one second.

00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:54.000
Yes.

00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:55.360
Can you pause real quick?

00:40:55.360 --> 00:41:02.159
Okay, so you get to San Diego.

00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:03.039
So, right.

00:41:03.039 --> 00:41:07.679
So my friends had reached out to Manny and said, Hey, I'm worried about her.

00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:09.840
Can you please just like make sure she's okay?

00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:15.519
And then she encouraged me to call him as well, which I'm sure was a very weird phone call from him for him.

00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:19.199
Hearing from, oh, hi, coworker, I haven't talked to in a really long time.

00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:21.920
Oh, this drama is happening in your life.

00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:23.519
Um that's cool.

00:41:23.599 --> 00:41:27.280
So it was to be fair, I've had had that happen to me several times in the past year.

00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:31.119
People show up all the time.

00:41:31.119 --> 00:41:33.519
People just like, hey, I've got nobody else to turn to.

00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:34.079
Right, right.

00:41:34.079 --> 00:41:34.559
That's okay.

00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:40.639
Um so I I I call him and he tells me, I was just like, Hey, what are you up to?

00:41:40.639 --> 00:41:44.639
And he tells me, I'm moving to Costa Rica in a few weeks.

00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.599
And I said, So hold on, did you know him in Texas though?

00:41:47.679 --> 00:41:49.440
Did you know did you we had been coworkers in Texas?

00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:51.039
Okay, so you at least knew who he was.

00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:52.800
Yeah, it's not some random guy on the internet.

00:41:53.199 --> 00:41:55.360
So he you meet him up, you meet with him in California.

00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:59.280
He's he'd already moved there for however many Yeah, he'd been there for for a long time.

00:41:59.519 --> 00:42:02.159
Um, he told me he was moving to Costa Rica in a few weeks.

00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:03.519
I said, Okay, cool.

00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:04.639
Can I go with you?

00:42:04.639 --> 00:42:08.559
I've got nothing in the US right now, and Costa Rica sounds cool.

00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:10.800
And he was like, You need a passport.

00:42:10.800 --> 00:42:11.679
That's what he asked.

00:42:11.679 --> 00:42:13.039
He said, Do you have a passport?

00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:14.880
And I said, Yeah, I have a passport.

00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:16.639
And you have a passport.

00:42:16.639 --> 00:42:21.199
That's a long, very that's a very hard story as well.

00:42:21.199 --> 00:42:22.880
Well, not a hard story, but a long story.

00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:25.440
But um, one of those other friends helped me get a passport.

00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:26.079
Wow.

00:42:26.239 --> 00:42:26.719
Yeah.

00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:32.960
And well, I can't really admit, but I had to like fake signatures.

00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:34.960
May have uh may have faked some signatures.

00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:39.039
There may be some signatures that are not genuine on that on said passport on the original one.

00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:39.840
I would never do that.

00:42:39.840 --> 00:42:41.119
Of course, that would never happen.

00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:41.599
Absolutely.

00:42:41.599 --> 00:42:42.639
So, yes.

00:42:42.639 --> 00:42:46.159
But this friend helped me to get a passport and then she held it for me.

00:42:46.400 --> 00:42:47.119
Oh, that was really cool.

00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:51.519
Yeah, so she did a lot to help me get out, and then I I got it from her once I left.

00:42:51.519 --> 00:42:52.079
Okay.

00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:53.440
So do you speak Spanish?

00:42:53.599 --> 00:42:54.079
I do.

00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:54.400
Yeah.

00:42:54.639 --> 00:42:55.679
From being in Costa Rica.

00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:00.079
I knew a little bit before Costa Rica, but being there, I just boom.

00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:01.679
How long were you in Costa Rica?

00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:07.440
We were there for from 22, yes, to 23.

00:43:08.079 --> 00:43:08.719
Oh, okay.

00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:09.039
Yeah.

00:43:09.039 --> 00:43:11.599
So not super long time ago, but 22 to 23.

00:43:11.599 --> 00:43:12.880
We were in Costa Rica.

00:43:12.880 --> 00:43:21.039
Um and yeah, so yeah, basically, I quit.

00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:26.880
I moved to San Diego, don't show up to the job that I was supposed to go to and help him sell his stuff.

00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:28.800
And you just go to Costa Rica.

00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:30.239
I know I just went to Costa Rica.

00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:30.639
Yep.

00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:32.880
The other thing what kind of visa do you have to have?

00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:34.400
I know it sounds like we're just to have a visa.

00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:36.320
Oh, you just don't as a US citizen, you don't.

00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:39.360
You just have to have a uh a returning flight.

00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:41.840
Yeah, just showing that you're planning to come back.

00:43:42.079 --> 00:43:42.400
Huh.

00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:42.639
Yeah.

00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:46.480
So what did you like have like a returning flight that you didn't go on?

00:43:46.719 --> 00:43:48.639
No, so there is actually a website.

00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:50.079
This is a really great travel hack.

00:43:50.079 --> 00:43:51.679
Just don't tell the Costa Rican embassy.

00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:52.159
Got it.

00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:59.440
There is a website, I forget the name of it, but you can search fake return fake flight tickets, and it's like $12.

00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:07.760
You put in your information, and they give you a ticket with real flight numbers, real times, everything so that they can check it.

00:44:07.760 --> 00:44:10.639
Um it's called onward travel, onwardtravel.com.

00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:11.039
Okay.

00:44:11.199 --> 00:44:20.719
And it gives you everything, proof of onward travel that you need because when you go to the airport in the United States, they will not let you on the plane until you have so did you feel like you were escaping?

00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:21.920
At that point, definitely.

00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:22.639
You know what I mean?

00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:27.920
Like uh Yeah, I I I mean, obviously you watch movies now, but now I do.

00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:32.480
There are these things and they're showed and they're not real life, but they look real.

00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:32.960
Yeah.

00:44:32.960 --> 00:44:40.480
So, like, did it feel like you were in like uh a a movie, so to speak, where you're kind of escaping, you just you're always kind of looking over your shoulder.

00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:41.519
Are they gonna come get me?

00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:41.840
Yeah.

00:44:42.159 --> 00:44:42.639
That kind of thing.

00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:46.000
Yeah, it it was really uh So when did you feel safe?

00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:46.800
Is that the right word?

00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:49.119
That's a I think that's a pretty good word for it.

00:44:49.119 --> 00:44:55.360
Um once I got Costa Rica was a very, very healing journey for me.

00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:59.599
It was not easy because, like, for I mean, for so many reasons.

00:44:59.599 --> 00:45:11.840
I was just, you know, now I went from you know, living with siblings to now I have my own room and I'm living in an apartment with somebody who genuinely cares about me.

00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:17.519
But at that time we we knew each other, but I mean we were co-workers still.

00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:20.400
Kind of sounds like an arranged marriage if you're just gonna go a different way out.

00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:28.079
Well, that's a that's a long that might be a long shot, but at that time we still is still we were still co-workers.

00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:37.039
We had a two-bedroom apartment and we did you do any work uh work uh in California or like did you go to the gym and like I don't know, train people or anything?

00:45:37.039 --> 00:45:39.360
Or it was like, hey, I'm here, I'm going to Costa Rica.

00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:40.559
So if you want to come, come on.

00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:42.480
It was more like that.

00:45:42.480 --> 00:45:48.000
We had there was a time I was in San Diego for almost a month, roughly.

00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:48.480
Okay.

00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:50.239
I I forget what the exact timeline was.

00:45:50.239 --> 00:45:54.239
I was there for a while, so I had most of it was right.

00:45:54.239 --> 00:46:01.039
I didn't work like and make money while I was there because we were I was helping Manny kind of like sell things and get ready to move.

00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:03.039
Um, but I had the opportunity to go train.

00:46:03.039 --> 00:46:07.280
I got to train with um some famous people in San Diego.

00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:10.480
Uh Jocko Willink is down there, he's really cool.

00:46:10.480 --> 00:46:12.079
I met him while I was there.

00:46:12.079 --> 00:46:18.000
I know his daughter, his daughter and I uh we trained uh last Christmas when I was in San Diego again.

00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:18.639
She's very cool.

00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:19.519
The family's very cool.

00:46:19.679 --> 00:46:20.880
All right, what was that like?

00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:22.559
He was really nice.

00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:28.800
He was in a rush to leave, but he stopped and talked to me because I wanted to ask him about his book.

00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:30.320
And he was a cool guy.

00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:33.679
The thing about him that surprised me the most is he's very short.

00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:34.400
Yeah.

00:46:34.559 --> 00:46:35.599
Like, I didn't know that.

00:46:35.599 --> 00:46:40.079
When he came out, I mean, his face is kind of like iconic, like a brick.

00:46:40.079 --> 00:46:41.920
So obviously I recognize him.

00:46:41.920 --> 00:46:44.880
But when he came next to me, I was like, I know.

00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:49.440
I was like, that's a lot of for such a well, you know, that'll make up for it.

00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:50.239
Anyway, so go on.

00:46:50.239 --> 00:46:54.239
So, like, uh, all right, so he so you got to train with Jocko, which is wild.

00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:54.719
Yes.

00:46:54.719 --> 00:46:59.440
Um, and then you head to Costa Rica and you start a business.

00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:07.199
Like, how I mean, I know this like you just been living in a log cabin.

00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:09.119
Yeah.

00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:18.559
And now you're in California, now you're in Costa Rica, and you're probably looking for a little efficiency apartment of some sort to kind of figure it out, right?

00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:27.760
We the the great thing is even though we moved there, it was technically high season where it's like every tourists are coming in there, so things are more expensive.

00:47:27.760 --> 00:47:31.760
Um, our apartment was $800 a month, which is really nice.

00:47:31.760 --> 00:47:43.199
It was a we had a it was a whole second floor we had to ourselves, two bedrooms, kitchen, and we had a really beautiful patio overlooking the jungle, which is where we ended up having our martial arts school.

00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:44.079
In the jungle?

00:47:44.239 --> 00:47:44.880
In the jungle.

00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:46.079
It was really cool.

00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:46.880
It was really cool.

00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:49.199
Is there any part of you that wants to go back to the jungle?

00:47:49.840 --> 00:47:51.199
That's such a good question.

00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:55.119
Manny is a uh non-jungle person?

00:47:55.119 --> 00:48:02.559
No, he he's he is a non-jungle person, like he does not like bugs, he doesn't like dirt, he doesn't like camping, but he's in love with Costa Rica.

00:48:02.559 --> 00:48:12.400
It has a hundred percent and he always talks about it constantly, and we plan to go retire there.

00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:22.239
Um I'm hoping in the future that well, not hoping, planning and working towards having a property down there so that we can go there more.

00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:28.559
And I mean, yeah, money's nice, but really just so that we can go there a lot more, which would be great.

00:48:28.559 --> 00:48:29.760
So okay.

00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:33.840
So you're in Costa Rica, you're starting a ninja training thing.

00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:34.320
Right.

00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:38.960
Then you decide to go back to the States, right?

00:48:39.119 --> 00:48:45.119
So we got to a point where Costa Rica is very seasonal, so it's high season, low season.

00:48:45.119 --> 00:48:50.239
High season, there are tourists, low season, there's nothing but rain and hippies smoking weed on the beach.

00:48:50.480 --> 00:48:50.800
Of course.

00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:51.440
Yeah.

00:48:51.440 --> 00:48:56.800
So the majority of people, especially in the town we were living in, were expats.

00:48:56.800 --> 00:49:00.960
So they were coming and working remotely during nice season.

00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:01.440
Yeah.

00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:04.800
And once it started to rain, they would go back to their countries.

00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:05.119
Right.

00:49:05.119 --> 00:49:09.760
And make a lot of money because Costa Rica, it's hard to make a lot of money working remotely.

00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:10.159
Yep.

00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:11.760
And then they come back and do it again.

00:49:11.760 --> 00:49:21.440
So once everybody kind of left, all the businesses were shutting down, like restaurants are shutting down, all the things that are bringing people out were shutting down.

00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:29.599
And we dropped our prices dramatically to be able to meet local needs, but it was not enough.

00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:40.239
Like we were charging $20 per class, which was very cheap for the area when we had tourists in town.

00:49:40.239 --> 00:49:48.000
But there would be hippies on the beach that are like, hey, I'll hold pads for you anytime of day, whatever, and I'll give you weed afterwards.

00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:54.480
And it's 2,000 colones, which is $4, and there's no structure, and you can just call me anytime you want.

00:49:54.480 --> 00:49:58.880
So it was a very weird type of competition to have where you're competing with nothing.

00:49:58.880 --> 00:49:59.760
Yeah.

00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:08.320
But tourists are going to Costa Rica ready to be like cool, hang back, chill, lifestyle, and they're kind of getting sucked in.

00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:20.320
It's really a scam, but they're getting sucked into these people who don't know martial arts and are just showing off, and they get you high first so that it looks like you're cool, but you're really not.

00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:26.480
Um, so it it was hard on the business, especially once we hit like that's tough to break into.

00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:26.800
Okay.

00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:28.320
So you're yeah, it's not working.

00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:28.639
Right.

00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:30.079
And you're like, let's get out of here.

00:50:30.239 --> 00:50:30.880
Exactly.

00:50:30.880 --> 00:50:34.159
So the question next was, okay, where do we go?

00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:40.800
Because Texas at the time, off the table, too much drama, and nothing at the time for us.

00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:42.880
Texas didn't have anything.

00:50:42.880 --> 00:50:45.440
We really considered going back to California.

00:50:45.440 --> 00:50:48.320
We had a flight booked to go back to California.

00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:50.880
We ended up in Florida.

00:50:51.280 --> 00:50:51.840
That makes sense.

00:50:51.840 --> 00:50:53.519
California, Florida, same thing.

00:50:53.679 --> 00:50:54.079
Right.

00:50:54.079 --> 00:50:55.760
Except for the weather.

00:50:55.760 --> 00:51:03.760
The weather in Florida has its moments where it's beautiful, like winter's 70 degrees, but for the sunshine state, it rains so much.

00:51:03.760 --> 00:51:05.440
And it's really bad rain.

00:51:05.440 --> 00:51:06.239
It is.

00:51:06.239 --> 00:51:08.320
So you get really bad tropical rain.

00:51:08.320 --> 00:51:10.880
It makes it super hard to things.

00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:13.199
But Florida was great.

00:51:13.199 --> 00:51:21.920
Um, during a period right after I had left, one of my friends helped me find a stalker website to find my grandmother.

00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:23.119
A stalker website.

00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:25.119
Like a stalker website, like I'm gonna go stalk somebody.

00:51:25.840 --> 00:51:31.840
So I hadn't I had been disconnected from my grandmother for a long time.

00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:34.559
I hadn't seen her for a really, really long time.

00:51:34.559 --> 00:51:35.920
We were not allowed to talk to her.

00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:41.679
She was totally cut off because um she disagreed with the parenting methods, things that were happening in the house.

00:51:41.679 --> 00:51:42.800
So gone.

00:51:42.800 --> 00:51:43.360
Right.

00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:46.639
The the story was she's a practicing witch that will kidnap you.

00:51:46.639 --> 00:51:47.760
Yeah.

00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:52.159
And um, I found her on this stalker website.

00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:55.679
And again, another weird text message.

00:51:55.679 --> 00:51:59.119
I was like, hey, is this so and so?

00:51:59.119 --> 00:51:59.760
Yes.

00:51:59.760 --> 00:52:02.000
Hi, this is your granddaughter.

00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:05.280
I don't even know what her reaction was at that time at that time.

00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:11.599
She told me later that she was in the hospital really sick and just I'm sure it was a lot to handle.

00:52:11.599 --> 00:52:16.079
Um, but we reconnected, thankfully, through that interaction.

00:52:16.079 --> 00:52:20.239
And she comes to Florida a lot because her dad, my great-grandfather, lives there.

00:52:20.239 --> 00:52:24.800
So it was kind of the only place where we had family around.

00:52:25.119 --> 00:52:29.599
So you got how what was a reunification like with her?

00:52:30.239 --> 00:52:32.400
It was very special.

00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:37.519
We actually didn't get to see her until we came back from Costa Rica.

00:52:37.519 --> 00:52:44.960
And we went to meet her in this it'sy bitsy teeny tiny town in Texas because we flew into Texas.

00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:50.079
Um, Houston flights from Costa Rica to Houston are super cheap and direct, so they're fast.

00:52:50.320 --> 00:52:52.719
Was that make you nervous being at oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:53.840
I was really nervous.

00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:55.920
You're like, I was like, Head on a swivel, baby.

00:52:56.559 --> 00:52:57.519
I was literally like this the whole time.

00:52:57.519 --> 00:53:02.480
Oh put my hood on, I'm like not talking to anybody, I'm not looking at anybody.

00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:06.159
Many likes to go, he's he's ready to pick a fight.

00:53:06.159 --> 00:53:07.760
He's like, anybody who comes, I'm ready for you.

00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:11.760
Like, I'm gonna see you, I'm gonna take pictures, say, hey, who's gonna mess with me?

00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:22.400
So it was funny, but um we bought a car in Texas, and before we went to Florida, we went down to the coast to see her.

00:53:22.400 --> 00:53:27.840
And we met up in this little Tex-Mex restaurant in this.

00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:30.880
I mean, I thought I grew up in the middle of nowhere.

00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:34.800
Hers town where she used to live was more civilized.

00:53:35.039 --> 00:53:40.639
Not civilized, but uh more the Indians who come out from like the bush and like shoot arrows at you.

00:53:40.960 --> 00:53:42.480
That was like where I grew up.

00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:45.440
Where she grew up, it was lots of rednecks.

00:53:45.440 --> 00:53:51.840
Okay, or not where she grew up, where she lived was lots of rednecks, really cool, lovely people, retirement town on the coast.

00:53:51.840 --> 00:53:54.880
So you get the Gulf uh coming in, yeah, right.

00:53:54.880 --> 00:54:00.960
So it was it was a cool town, it was very quiet, all retirees, so lots of you know, seniors.

00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:02.320
Yeah, it was a cool little place.

00:54:02.320 --> 00:54:03.280
Yeah, good vibe.

00:54:03.280 --> 00:54:06.719
Yeah, it was fun, and then I got to reconnect with my uncle.

00:54:06.719 --> 00:54:12.880
He came uh, I guess down he was coming from north, so he came south to see me there too.

00:54:12.880 --> 00:54:19.920
And that was our first reunion, and then we got to reconnect more later when she came to Florida, once we were already there.

00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:23.039
Because like I said, she comes that she came there a lot to visit.

00:54:23.360 --> 00:54:25.840
Okay, so you've got this you reestablished family.

00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:27.599
Is she like your secret safe with me?

00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:28.159
Mm-hmm.

00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:31.920
Um, and your parental units had talked to her anyway.

00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:33.280
So, like no, she was cut off.

00:54:33.360 --> 00:54:33.760
Yeah.

00:54:33.760 --> 00:54:36.320
Okay, so then you're in Florida.

00:54:36.400 --> 00:54:36.719
Yep.

00:54:37.039 --> 00:54:40.480
Then you're like, do you open up a martial arts studio or something?

00:54:40.800 --> 00:54:48.320
So I started managing working out and then managing a little family-owned martial arts school in Cooper City.

00:54:48.320 --> 00:55:06.800
Manny started his thing in a UFC gym there, which ended up being a really great experience for him as well, just to have the freedom to teach adults, which I know we both valued that because he got to run classes the way he wanted to with a big group of people, right?

00:55:06.800 --> 00:55:08.960
So that was a really cool experience.

00:55:08.960 --> 00:55:20.880
While we were there, we got to learn a lot, not only about teaching, but about jujitsu because uh we got to train with Wagner Rocha and Cyborg, who are big names in jujitsu.

00:55:20.880 --> 00:55:24.719
It was a great, very awesome community that they have down there.

00:55:24.719 --> 00:55:26.159
So it's a it's a lovely place.

00:55:26.159 --> 00:55:32.960
I made literally some of my best friends at that gym who are probably when I open my phone right now, there's text from them.

00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:33.360
Yeah, yeah.

00:55:33.440 --> 00:55:36.719
But so, like when when why leave Florida?

00:55:37.119 --> 00:55:38.800
So it was a two-part thing.

00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:42.079
The first part was we were still really dedicated about opening the business.

00:55:42.079 --> 00:55:46.480
We wanted what is now maca martial arts to exist.

00:55:46.480 --> 00:55:52.480
In Florida, it was really difficult because we have these good friends of ours who are big names, right?

00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:54.239
But Florida's a big state.

00:55:54.239 --> 00:56:06.480
There was a ton of competition similar to what was happening on the beach in Costa Rica, where it's every single corner, it's karate, taekwondo, jeekundo, Zumba, everybody something.

00:56:06.480 --> 00:56:13.360
Because, you know, Miami, Florida, South Florida is a pit bull song.

00:56:13.360 --> 00:56:16.639
It is parties, it's women, good.

00:56:16.639 --> 00:56:18.239
That's what it is.

00:56:18.239 --> 00:56:19.039
That's what it is.

00:56:19.039 --> 00:56:22.639
So everybody wants to work out to be super good looking.

00:56:22.639 --> 00:56:25.280
So it was a lot of competition in Florida.

00:56:25.280 --> 00:56:34.239
And while we really loved our jiu-jitsu community and being close to family, the rest of the culture just kind of didn't fit our vibe.

00:56:34.239 --> 00:56:38.880
We missed a lot of the Southern charm that we had in Texas and California.

00:56:38.880 --> 00:56:45.920
So for our whole time in Florida, we had on our refrigerator Texas pros and cons, California pros and cons.

00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:49.199
And we would just add to the list constantly.

00:56:49.199 --> 00:56:58.639
And there were so many nights when I would come home and Manny would be sitting on the couch and he would just be like, Man, I wish I just had my own place.

00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:04.639
Because what he had in UFC was like his spot, but it's inside a commercial gym.

00:57:04.639 --> 00:57:12.159
So it's daddy Yankee blaring and people doing their thing and you know, people walking with shoes on the mat, which is a big no-no.

00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:12.719
Yeah, yeah.

00:57:12.960 --> 00:57:15.119
So he talked about it all the time.

00:57:15.119 --> 00:57:23.440
And he was both of us, we were just so we spent so many nights dreaming about thank God what we have right now.

00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:36.079
So when we decided to move, we were originally just going to stop in Austin because a lot of people had recommended it to us, telling us, hey, it's a really great place, growing community, all these things.

00:57:36.079 --> 00:57:50.239
And we were just gonna stop here and check it out on our way to California, just to say we did our due diligence looking for a spot, and we ended up with a super great place that's right down there five minutes away.

00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:50.559
Yeah.

00:57:50.719 --> 00:57:51.039
Yeah.

00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:53.440
Okay, so here you are now.

00:57:53.599 --> 00:57:54.239
Yeah.

00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:57.039
Um, and you're with Manning.

00:57:57.039 --> 00:57:59.199
You're building your life together.

00:57:59.360 --> 00:57:59.840
Right.

00:58:00.079 --> 00:58:02.239
Do you ever miss the parentals?

00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:03.280
No.

00:58:03.679 --> 00:58:05.920
Do you ever miss like obviously you miss your siblings?

00:58:05.920 --> 00:58:06.639
Right.

00:58:06.639 --> 00:58:13.039
So, but like, is there a part of like, how do you not do you rethink that?

00:58:13.039 --> 00:58:15.920
Do you go back in your head going, like, should I have left then?

00:58:15.920 --> 00:58:17.440
Or that was exactly the right thing?

00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:18.719
Like, give me your thought process.

00:58:18.719 --> 00:58:22.159
Like, looking back, are you ever like, you know, maybe I should have taken one of them with me?

00:58:22.159 --> 00:58:25.599
I don't, you know, is there any part of that's like, do you have any survivor's guilt?

00:58:25.599 --> 00:58:26.480
You know, you know what I'm talking about?

00:58:26.639 --> 00:58:26.880
Right.

00:58:26.880 --> 00:58:29.119
The survivor's guilt is definitely real.

00:58:29.119 --> 00:58:32.159
Um, and I'll speak more to that in a second.

00:58:32.159 --> 00:58:39.679
As far as the parentals go, I have never doubted that what I did was the right thing.

00:58:39.679 --> 00:58:47.199
Even when I was sad from the loss of the life that I had, which really wasn't all that great.

00:58:47.199 --> 00:58:54.559
I mean, not to be like ungrateful because it was they were they're very, very, very affluent.

00:58:54.639 --> 00:58:55.519
Like they're very what?

00:58:55.760 --> 00:58:58.400
Affluent, like, you know, for days.

00:58:58.400 --> 00:59:06.320
And they reminded me of that a lot after uh I left through email saying, hey, I made a hundred thousand dollars just this month.

00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:08.320
Don't you wish you were a part of this?

00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:10.559
Well, if they knew anything about me.

00:59:10.559 --> 00:59:14.639
Your how many dollar songs come after your name means zero.

00:59:14.639 --> 00:59:16.320
Doesn't mean anything to me.

00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:28.800
Um, there have been times where I miss the idea of a parent to, you know, rely on, ask for for advice, but them personally no.

00:59:28.800 --> 00:59:29.119
Okay.

00:59:29.119 --> 00:59:34.000
And that missing of a parent, that feeling was always there, even when I lived with them.

00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:34.639
Right.

00:59:34.639 --> 00:59:39.519
And then for the survivor's guilt, um, I struggled with that for a really long time.

00:59:39.519 --> 00:59:47.039
Just in the last few months, honestly, I felt more relief from it because I did what I could do.

00:59:47.039 --> 00:59:50.559
I called CPS, I tried to get them involved.

00:59:50.559 --> 00:59:54.639
CPS, the at least the one agent we got was an absolute joke.

00:59:54.639 --> 00:59:57.280
Um, and she did nothing to help.

00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:59.119
I did what I could.

00:59:59.119 --> 00:59:59.760
I know that I.

00:59:59.760 --> 01:00:12.320
I did everything that I could and just in the last few months, some of them who are now legal adults have reached out and said, Hey, we don't want anything to do with you unless you want something to do with people.

01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:15.119
Until you uh want something to do with Right.

01:00:15.280 --> 01:00:15.599
With them.

01:00:15.599 --> 01:00:18.639
So we don't want anything to do with you until we want something to do with them.

01:00:18.639 --> 01:00:19.840
We're on their side, they're good.

01:00:21.119 --> 01:00:21.280
Okay.

01:00:21.519 --> 01:00:21.840
It's hard.

01:00:22.400 --> 01:00:30.960
It is, but in some way it's almost relieving because now I know for for all of these years I have worried are you okay?

01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:31.679
Are you happy?

01:00:31.679 --> 01:00:37.920
Are you getting beat up like the way we used to be when I'm not there to help you?

01:00:37.920 --> 01:00:41.920
Because when I was there, I was the one who helped you.

01:00:41.920 --> 01:00:49.760
I was the one who gave you Tylenol, who gave you ice, who made a story to help protect you from them.

01:00:49.760 --> 01:01:02.880
I was the one who came and took pictures when the male parental unit yanked you out of the shower and beat you across the face when you were naked because your puppy peed on the floor.

01:01:02.880 --> 01:01:03.760
Right?

01:01:03.760 --> 01:01:05.440
I was the person who did that.

01:01:05.440 --> 01:01:09.840
So for a long time it was a struggle of who's doing that for you now.

01:01:09.840 --> 01:01:14.719
And the fact that like some of them have come out and been like, we don't need you.

01:01:14.719 --> 01:01:16.480
It is in some way a relief.

01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:16.880
Okay.

01:01:16.880 --> 01:01:18.559
So you're good.

01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:27.039
Whatever manipulative lie you've created into your head or they've created in your head that you now believe that makes you think you're cool, okay.

01:01:27.039 --> 01:01:30.239
At least I know that I did everything I can in my power.

01:01:30.239 --> 01:01:32.239
And that's hard though.

01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:34.159
It's a very weird place to be.

01:01:34.159 --> 01:01:35.280
It's very weird.

01:01:35.599 --> 01:01:36.960
Okay, so all right.

01:01:36.960 --> 01:01:38.079
So let's go back now.

01:01:38.079 --> 01:01:40.400
Obviously, I'm a pastor, so I always have to ask this question.

01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:40.639
Right.

01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:42.480
So where do we go with God here?

01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:50.639
Like, like so, parents, their role is to be a proxy for God.

01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:57.039
Like they are standing in for God, they're bigger, they're taller, they're like giants, yeah.

01:01:57.039 --> 01:02:00.480
Um, they're smarter, they've got money.

01:02:00.480 --> 01:02:00.880
Yeah.

01:02:00.880 --> 01:02:10.079
Um, and so what happens in general, if you have a good relationship with your parents and they're Christian and all that, you have a good relationship with God because it's like an easy transition.

01:02:10.159 --> 01:02:10.800
Yeah.

01:02:11.519 --> 01:02:23.199
For you, like, you know, and you also have a there's a layer of Catholic stuff on top of which I won't even get into this moment, but like for for you, like where are you at with God?

01:02:23.440 --> 01:02:44.880
Like when you talk about when you think about God, like what comes to mind for a long time it was a struggle because the God that I grew up with says if you wear a skirt above your knees, a man looks at you and thinks, wow, she's hot.

01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:48.239
I go to hell for that because I made you sin.

01:02:48.239 --> 01:02:49.440
And that's on me.

01:02:49.679 --> 01:02:50.559
Oh, oh, got it.

01:02:50.559 --> 01:02:53.440
So you go to hell because you made him sin.

01:02:53.599 --> 01:02:53.920
Exactly.

01:02:54.079 --> 01:02:54.320
Got it.

01:02:54.559 --> 01:02:58.639
It's not the man's fault because that is his nothing he can do.

01:02:58.639 --> 01:03:00.719
There's nothing, it's boys being boys, right?

01:03:00.719 --> 01:03:01.199
Oh, wow.

01:03:01.199 --> 01:03:05.360
So it's on there's it's on the shoulders of women to not let men sin.

01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:11.519
So that was the God that I grew up with, the God that said it's okay for parents to treat their kids this way.

01:03:11.519 --> 01:03:19.599
It's okay for men to touch women inappropriately, as long as the boss of the house says it's okay.

01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:25.440
So it was a really screwed up view of what God is that I grew up with.

01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:25.840
Right.

01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:33.119
And it took me a really long time to figure out like to clear the smoke and mirrors.

01:03:33.119 --> 01:03:44.719
And a big part of that for me was realizing I really could have screwed up my life really bad in so many different ways.

01:03:44.719 --> 01:03:48.159
When I left, I could have made bad decisions about where I went.

01:03:48.159 --> 01:03:51.280
I could have made bad decisions staying there.

01:03:51.280 --> 01:03:57.519
I mean, there were periods when I was living there where I was who's to say that Manny couldn't have been a crazy person, like 100%.

01:03:57.840 --> 01:03:59.760
Yeah, like that sheer grace of God.

01:04:00.400 --> 01:04:01.840
Absolutely, divine intervention.

01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:02.480
Like, wow.

01:04:02.559 --> 01:04:04.000
Anyway, yeah, absolutely.

01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:11.840
And there were other instances in my life where I was now, I can say, wow, that was a huge God thing.

01:04:11.840 --> 01:04:13.920
That was a major God thing.

01:04:13.920 --> 01:04:22.960
Um, where I there were times when I was really depressed, really suicidal, and I would I I put a time limit on it one night.

01:04:22.960 --> 01:04:25.119
I was really, really depressed.

01:04:25.119 --> 01:04:27.280
I really wanted to like end it.

01:04:27.280 --> 01:04:38.159
And I was wrestling with it in my head, and I was like, okay, if something doesn't change in the next two weeks, that's it.

01:04:38.159 --> 01:04:42.480
If something significant enough changes that shows me I need to stick around, okay.

01:04:42.480 --> 01:04:48.639
And at the time I didn't really realize what that big change was.

01:04:48.639 --> 01:04:53.360
But the big change was Manny came back into my life.

01:04:53.360 --> 01:04:57.280
And he had we had been coworkers, but he hadn't been around for a long time.

01:04:57.280 --> 01:05:05.840
And he came back into my life, and suddenly I had a friend again who asked me questions that some people didn't ask me.

01:05:05.840 --> 01:05:08.480
Like one day he just looked at me and he's like, Hey, are you okay?

01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:10.880
And I kind of lost it.

01:05:10.880 --> 01:05:16.320
And I was just like, No, I'm not, I'm not okay for so many different reasons.

01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:20.480
And I didn't really tell him a lot of what was going on because I couldn't.

01:05:20.480 --> 01:05:35.360
But I had it was very comforting to know that okay, there's somebody right now who's like watching me and sees that something's not right, and that in itself was a blessing to have somebody who was paying attention, and now I see that was a God thing.

01:05:35.519 --> 01:05:40.159
So, so yeah, so uh, this is where now this part where I'm gonna be dogmatic a little bit.

01:05:40.320 --> 01:05:40.639
Okay.

01:05:40.880 --> 01:05:42.000
Like God loves you.

01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:46.239
And the whole thing about Jesus, well okay, sorry, sorry.

01:05:46.239 --> 01:05:49.440
If if there's one thing, you know, there is a demonic realm.

01:05:49.440 --> 01:05:49.760
Right.

01:05:49.760 --> 01:05:53.119
I don't know if there's demons in your house, could have been, I'm not gonna say if it was one.

01:05:53.119 --> 01:06:04.079
However, if there's one thing Satan could do is screw up the relationship between a father and a kid, because over and over, Jesus calls God father, father, father, father, father, father.

01:06:04.079 --> 01:06:19.039
In fact, like if you go down the street to like the gay church down the street, they've taken father out of the book because everyone has they literally have been so screwed up by bad dads, yeah, they're like that word has a connotation to them that is that is wicked in a sense.

01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:22.320
And so I don't want to have any of that baggage when I look up to God.

01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:42.239
But what God is is even though a father is supposed to be a proxy, a stand-in for God, up until the point where you can kind of understand him for yourself, and there's a great way to introduce children to God, if if that's messed up, it makes it way difficult, but not impossible because God is ultimately a father who loves and protects and guides and draws you to himself.

01:06:42.559 --> 01:06:42.960
Right.

01:06:43.199 --> 01:06:57.199
And so my hope would be through all this, you would see that the stories of the Bible that you probably know pretty well, that Jesus came and he died on the cross for your sins, and then he rose from the dead.

01:06:57.199 --> 01:07:08.719
And our freedom that we have in Jesus is exponentially amazing, and that there is great joy and there is great life and there is great hope.

01:07:08.719 --> 01:07:25.760
And so, my heart for you is that through all the people you've been interacting with, um that that God would reveal Himself to you in a gentle uh way that you could hear, see, and then respond to.

01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:29.119
And so um, because you know the story about Jesus.

01:07:29.119 --> 01:07:30.079
Of course.

01:07:30.079 --> 01:07:35.679
So when have you like, and this is the like, have you do you believe Jesus?

01:07:35.679 --> 01:07:38.159
Are you like, I don't know where I'm at with Jesus?

01:07:38.159 --> 01:07:42.800
Are you are you at like a place of like, you know, I'm still like kicking the tires on spirituality?

01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:44.000
Like, where where are you at?

01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:49.119
Uh right now, God and I are really good.

01:07:49.119 --> 01:07:51.760
We're in a better spot than we've been in a really long time.

01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:52.320
Fair enough.

01:07:52.320 --> 01:07:52.719
Fair enough.

01:07:52.880 --> 01:07:53.599
So it's cool.

01:07:53.599 --> 01:07:58.400
It's it feels really good to be in that place again.

01:07:58.400 --> 01:08:02.320
Um I got I got irritated this morning.

01:08:02.320 --> 01:08:11.119
I have a morning job and somebody left these three like Bible verse big bookmarks on the table.

01:08:11.119 --> 01:08:14.000
And I was like, wow, these are really cool.

01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:18.159
And I put one in my purse to keep for myself, one that I thought was really cool.

01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:19.600
So are you like a waitress or something?

01:08:19.680 --> 01:08:21.119
Or what no, no, I manage a restaurant.

01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:22.319
You manage restaurants bakery.

01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:28.239
Okay, you manage bakery, but like somebody left Bible verses intentionally or like unintentionally, or I assume it was intentionally.

01:08:28.239 --> 01:08:30.800
I mean, just but so so you pick it up.

01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:32.319
Yeah, and it was sort of encouraging.

01:08:32.479 --> 01:08:43.359
Yeah, and I liked them and I I have them in my purse right now because I one of my coworkers is religious, and I kept one for myself and I gave one to her, and I was like, hey, these are cool.

01:08:43.359 --> 01:08:44.159
I thought you would like them.

01:08:44.159 --> 01:08:45.439
She's religious.

01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:47.600
Yeah, yeah, really religious.

01:08:47.600 --> 01:08:53.119
And she got irritated at me, and she like pushed my hand away and was like, No, no, no.

01:08:53.119 --> 01:08:56.800
And I thought, you know what, girl, you don't deserve them.

01:08:56.800 --> 01:08:58.079
You don't deserve them.

01:08:58.079 --> 01:08:58.720
So I brought them.

01:08:58.720 --> 01:08:59.359
I was like, you know what?

01:08:59.359 --> 01:09:00.479
Pastor Pleck will like this.

01:09:00.720 --> 01:09:01.119
I would love them.

01:09:01.119 --> 01:09:02.800
Look at these Bible verses.

01:09:02.800 --> 01:09:14.399
I'm really excited about hearing what these Bible verses are because listen, there's been a many a time where uh people have like, you know, like you've thought as a as a pastor, you know, you have something like that, and you're like, does anybody actually look at this?

01:09:14.560 --> 01:09:14.880
Uh-huh.

01:09:15.039 --> 01:09:15.920
All right, so what do you got?

01:09:16.079 --> 01:09:18.640
Okay, so which was this is cool.

01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:20.000
Oh, those are like bookmarks.

01:09:20.159 --> 01:09:21.600
Yeah, it is like a little bookmark.

01:09:21.600 --> 01:09:22.399
They're really cool.

01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:23.920
Like, we're like oh, I love it.

01:09:24.000 --> 01:09:27.760
I'll do it all for the glory of God with God, all things are possible, love your enemies.

01:09:27.760 --> 01:09:28.159
I love it.

01:09:28.159 --> 01:09:29.680
Okay, this is this is all really cool things.

01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:34.399
Maybe it's because I gave her the one that said love your enemies, and she took it personally.

01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:35.920
She's like, screw.

01:09:36.159 --> 01:09:37.920
Yeah, maybe it's fine.

01:09:37.920 --> 01:09:40.479
I was like, I like this one with God, all things are possible.

01:09:40.479 --> 01:09:41.199
I like that.

01:09:41.199 --> 01:09:43.760
And then I don't know, maybe she's like loving enemy.

01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:45.600
I'm loving on you, enemy.

01:09:45.840 --> 01:09:46.960
But oh, okay, yeah.

01:09:46.960 --> 01:09:48.399
Okay, so all right, so that's okay.

01:09:49.039 --> 01:09:50.960
I brought him and I was like, someone somebody left that.

01:09:51.039 --> 01:09:52.720
You got it, you got encouraged by that.

01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:54.640
All right, so what about church?

01:09:54.640 --> 01:10:00.880
Like this, like do you being in this building, does it freak you out a little bit, or is it just it looks enough like a bar that it's okay?

01:10:01.279 --> 01:10:02.079
Bars freak me out more.

01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:02.640
I don't like bars.

01:10:02.640 --> 01:10:03.039
Okay.

01:10:03.039 --> 01:10:04.399
I don't go to bars.

01:10:04.399 --> 01:10:05.520
I don't like bars.

01:10:05.520 --> 01:10:07.520
Um, no, this is fine.

01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:08.319
This is cool.

01:10:08.319 --> 01:10:13.119
I have found I get along really well.

01:10:13.119 --> 01:10:15.039
This is non-denominational church, right?

01:10:15.039 --> 01:10:21.840
I get along really well with people that are in non-denominational Christianity or non-denominational churches because it's like this.

01:10:21.840 --> 01:10:35.520
It's the kind of they they teach the same idea of God that has brought a lot of healing for me, where it's not God is standing with a AK-47 ready to blow your head off when you sin.

01:10:35.520 --> 01:10:37.199
It's, you know, God is loving Father.

01:10:37.439 --> 01:10:39.760
You know, I'm actually that's why I'm talking about this Sunday.

01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:40.239
Really?

01:10:40.479 --> 01:10:42.159
God, so because it's about discipline.

01:10:42.159 --> 01:10:42.479
Yeah.

01:10:42.479 --> 01:10:49.279
Uh like the it's Hebrews 12, and it talks about, you know, you were disciplined by your father as he thought best.

01:10:49.279 --> 01:10:53.920
And I'm gonna be like, some of you were not disciplined really well.

01:10:53.920 --> 01:11:00.079
Uh and so now there's a there's a skew because you've been um jaded.

01:11:00.079 --> 01:11:00.880
Jaded?

01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:01.279
Yeah.

01:11:01.279 --> 01:11:07.680
So your view of God of like loving father who disciplines, and so anytime you look up at God, you think he's punishing you for something, right?

01:11:07.680 --> 01:11:14.079
As opposed to God who when I when I discipline my kids, it's like I love you too much to let you disobey.

01:11:14.079 --> 01:11:39.680
And so any sort of discipline, whether it's they're running a lap or doing a wall sit, or you know, even a spank sometimes, like there's there that doesn't come from a um I'm I hate you, or I'm I'm I'm not angry, but we need to assess this because I love you too much to for you to kind of be disobedient or you know, punch your kid, punch your brother, pull a knife, you know, all the things that happen.

01:11:39.680 --> 01:11:41.119
Did that happen at your house?

01:11:41.119 --> 01:11:42.800
Did you guys pull knives on each other?

01:11:42.800 --> 01:11:45.119
No, okay, yeah, that's just my might be at my house.

01:11:45.119 --> 01:11:47.279
All right, so we're all girls.

01:11:47.279 --> 01:11:47.920
Oh, that's true.

01:11:47.920 --> 01:11:52.479
Yeah, we have I have all boys, and so it's like every day I come home, it's a dog pile.

01:11:52.479 --> 01:11:55.920
Uh, every day I come home and someone's upset because somebody hit somebody.

01:11:55.920 --> 01:11:59.199
Anyway, so we have to, you know, manage the chaos.

01:11:59.199 --> 01:12:02.079
And um, so we do a lot of discipline.

01:12:02.079 --> 01:12:02.880
I love you too much.

01:12:02.880 --> 01:12:04.720
I don't when you hit your brother like that.

01:12:04.720 --> 01:12:09.119
I I I have to bring justice to the situation.

01:12:09.119 --> 01:12:13.600
But daddy loves you so much that I want you to see how how it hurts daddy when you hurt him.

01:12:13.600 --> 01:12:13.760
Right.

01:12:13.760 --> 01:12:17.199
It hurts me when you hurt because I anyway, so I get you get into all that.

01:12:17.199 --> 01:12:34.720
All that to say is I think that's what happens if you've had a dad that's abusive sexually, physically, verbally, not that any of that was specific to you, but if you've had a dad like that, right, there's a tendency for God is very angry, yeah, very uh just ready to bring down judgment on you.

01:12:34.720 --> 01:12:38.159
And so everything that happens is God punishing me.

01:12:38.159 --> 01:12:52.319
Um or on the flip side, if you had like um an overly doting father, okay, where then it's everybody else's fault, and there's demons everywhere.

01:12:52.319 --> 01:12:53.439
I'm not saying that might have, I don't know.

01:12:53.600 --> 01:12:54.239
No, I hear what you're saying.

01:12:54.479 --> 01:12:58.880
But it's like but there's like if there's always someone else to blame for all the issues you have.

01:12:58.880 --> 01:12:59.359
Yeah.

01:12:59.359 --> 01:12:59.840
Okay.

01:12:59.840 --> 01:13:04.239
So I guess what I my hope is, and I would love this is why this is the big invite.

01:13:04.239 --> 01:13:19.119
I'd love for you, Manny, you and Manny to come, is that you would see that God loves you, that He has been present in even the suffering of the sadness of seeing people you love, you know, disappear out of your life.

01:13:19.359 --> 01:13:19.680
Yeah.

01:13:19.840 --> 01:13:23.920
Um, and that more than anything, God wants a relationship with you that's personal.

01:13:23.920 --> 01:13:28.560
And and what I what I love about what you said is when when Manny asked you, like, are you okay?

01:13:28.560 --> 01:13:41.680
So there's this moment in prayer where you just come before the Lord, and the more you get alone with God, the more you can hear him like speak like, I love you, I'm proud of you, uh, you're mine.

01:13:41.680 --> 01:13:43.600
And that thought of like, are you okay?

01:13:43.600 --> 01:13:46.800
of like where you have a conversation with God, that's what prayer is.

01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:47.039
Right.

01:13:47.279 --> 01:13:56.720
But then in reading God's word, his constant like connection with you, this constant pursuit of you as a perfect father, yeah, would love his kid.

01:13:56.720 --> 01:14:09.520
And so, um, anyway, I my heart for you is is that you would experience that sort of joy, yeah, and that the whole your whole story at you know, one day would be redeemed.

01:14:09.520 --> 01:14:11.680
Uh, all the darkness you've experienced.

01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:16.960
What what one Bible verse my kids are memorizing is uh Genesis 15, 50, 20.

01:14:16.960 --> 01:14:23.760
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today.

01:14:23.760 --> 01:14:32.000
Yeah, and that verse is powerful because when you experience pain, it's sometimes is this God punishing me or is this God preparing me?

01:14:32.000 --> 01:14:34.560
Yeah, is this God punishing me or is this God protecting me?

01:14:34.560 --> 01:14:34.880
Right.

01:14:34.880 --> 01:14:38.960
Is this what is God doing in and through my life that I need to experience right now?

01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:41.680
Anyway, all that to say, I would love for you.

01:14:41.680 --> 01:14:44.720
Um, I just I'm encouraged somebody even gave that to you today.

01:14:44.800 --> 01:14:46.239
That yeah, I it worked.

01:14:46.239 --> 01:14:49.439
It was again, I I felt like it was a God thing today.

01:14:49.760 --> 01:14:50.479
That is a god thing.

01:14:50.479 --> 01:14:51.039
It is.

01:14:51.039 --> 01:15:00.159
I I do I definitely and so that my hope for you is that you would start to to lean into him because I think your story isn't finished, you know, like it doesn't feel sensitive.

01:15:00.159 --> 01:15:02.399
We've just got you know, you're 25.

01:15:02.399 --> 01:15:11.199
You just got to this place where you're you're you're you're living your life and you're doing something really special with uh martial arts and really probably making people's lives really awesome.

01:15:11.199 --> 01:15:13.600
And and I'm really encouraged by that.

01:15:13.600 --> 01:15:23.600
And so my hope for you is that um the greatest gift I could ever give you is like the to know the savior that I know, for you to experience him like I experience him, um, would just be super joyful.

01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:28.960
And um yeah, just like anything, it's a relationship that's really powerful.

01:15:28.960 --> 01:15:29.840
Yeah, all that.

01:15:29.840 --> 01:15:31.520
Yeah, so man, thanks for being here.

01:15:31.680 --> 01:15:31.840
Thank you.

01:15:31.920 --> 01:15:33.119
Yeah, what other things you want to share?

01:15:33.119 --> 01:15:35.840
Is there anything else like you're like, I forgot to say this thing?

01:15:37.359 --> 01:15:46.800
Um, I like how other Christians pray in the words that they use, yeah, and in the body language.

01:15:46.800 --> 01:15:49.600
As a martial artist, body language is so important to me.

01:15:49.600 --> 01:15:52.239
So I love the body language of like openness, right?

01:15:52.239 --> 01:15:54.000
This was not allowed, right?

01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:56.960
This is only acceptable, right?

01:15:56.960 --> 01:15:58.079
This is very funny.

01:15:58.079 --> 01:15:59.920
I'm sure other people think this is funny too.

01:15:59.920 --> 01:16:05.600
If you pray like this, which was my preferred method of praying, just because I felt like this is sissy, honestly.

01:16:05.600 --> 01:16:06.800
No offense to anybody.

01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:07.920
This just didn't feel right to me.

01:16:08.239 --> 01:16:09.039
My emoji I use a lot.

01:16:10.079 --> 01:16:13.840
Because there's no this emoji, which is funny because this is really bad in jujitsu, but whatever.

01:16:13.840 --> 01:16:15.760
This is was always how I prayed.

01:16:15.760 --> 01:16:21.279
But uh, I had a priest tell me one time, don't pray like this because your fingers are making your prayers go to the devil.

01:16:21.279 --> 01:16:25.760
So you're accidentally praying to the devil and asking the devil for things when you pray.

01:16:25.760 --> 01:16:31.840
So you can only do this so because otherwise the signal, like the signal goes through your fingers, so God gets it, right?

01:16:31.840 --> 01:16:36.079
So we got to make sure that like holy cow, like that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

01:16:36.880 --> 01:16:41.279
Like, I wanna I want to bless you with me saying that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

01:16:41.439 --> 01:16:43.279
Um I feel like people would appreciate that.

01:16:43.359 --> 01:16:44.880
There's that is so dumb.

01:16:44.880 --> 01:16:45.840
Oh my gosh.

01:16:45.840 --> 01:16:47.119
Okay, well, I'm so sorry.

01:16:47.119 --> 01:17:04.640
I feel like there's so much religious baggage that I all I want you to do is just experience Jesus and love and grace and mercy and peep and the Christian people of God who want to love you and then encourage you to follow Him and read God's word and to know Him deeply specifically.

01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:06.079
Um man.

01:17:06.399 --> 01:17:06.880
Yeah.

01:17:07.199 --> 01:17:07.600
Crazy.

01:17:07.600 --> 01:17:08.399
Can I pray for you?

01:17:08.399 --> 01:17:09.680
Of course, please.

01:17:09.680 --> 01:17:11.520
God, thank you so much for Caitlin.

01:17:11.520 --> 01:17:17.840
I I just man, when I hear her story, I am so uh just amazed that you've brought her here.

01:17:17.840 --> 01:17:21.199
And so, God, I'm praying for your grace to move on her and Manny.

01:17:21.199 --> 01:17:26.560
I pray for your love and mercy to open up her heart fully, that you would reveal yourself to her.

01:17:26.560 --> 01:17:32.239
Lord, you said in your word, like as a father, like what father doesn't know how to give good gifts to his kids.

01:17:32.239 --> 01:17:36.640
If they ask him for bread, you give them bread, you don't give them a snake or scorpion or a rock.

01:17:36.640 --> 01:17:46.800
And so, Lord, I just pray as uh Caolinn asks for you to reveal yourself to her, that you give her your Holy Spirit, that she'd feel so much love, so much grace, so much filled up with your power.

01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:53.279
She understands what Jesus did on the cross for her to rescue her from her sin, to rescue her from a broken world.

01:17:53.279 --> 01:17:54.479
Lord, we thank you for that.

01:17:54.479 --> 01:18:02.079
Lord, I pray your grace would fall on uh Manny and Caolinn, and they would be blessed as they seek you as a one true God.

01:18:02.079 --> 01:18:02.720
We love you, Lord.

01:18:02.720 --> 01:18:03.920
It's in Jesus' name we pray.

01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:04.880
Amen.

01:18:04.880 --> 01:18:06.000
Man.

01:18:06.319 --> 01:18:07.039
Good stuff.

01:18:07.600 --> 01:18:09.199
Hey guys, thanks so much for watching.

01:18:09.199 --> 01:18:12.319
Uh, if you want to text in, we can we I don't mind bringing Caolinn back.

01:18:12.319 --> 01:18:13.119
We can bring her back.

01:18:13.119 --> 01:18:15.840
Just text in at 737 231 0605.

01:18:15.840 --> 01:18:17.119
Love to hear from you.

01:18:17.119 --> 01:18:18.720
Uh, but from our house to yours.

01:18:18.720 --> 01:18:19.600
Have an awesome week.

01:18:19.600 --> 01:18:20.079
Go back.